“How is she?”
Jess shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“How do you mean?”
Jess stroked the back of Lindsay’s hand absently. “She hasn’t said a word to me in three hours.”
Sasha nodded. “She been sleeping the whole time?”
“She stared at the ceiling for a good hour before she dozed off.”
Jess gave Lindsay’s hand one final pat before he stood up. He gestured for Sasha to follow him into the living room where Jimmy and Lily were sitting nervously on the couch and turned to her. “Tell me what to do.”
“I can’t.” Sasha sighed. “What did the doctor say?”
“He congratulated us and handed me a bottle of prenatal vitamins.”
Sasha frowned. “What?”
“He didn’t check her file, he just read off the test results.” Jess swallowed. “He thought the baby was mine.”
Jimmy cleared his throat. “And there’s no chance it could be?”
“No!” Jess whirled around. “You think I took advantage of her?”
“That’s not what I meant…”
“She got raped, Jimmy!” Jess exclaimed.
Sasha laid a hand on his shoulder. “We know, Jess. It’s just…well…you two have been getting very close lately.”
“It’s not mine,” Jess said hoarsely.
Lily spoke up. “If it was his, I don’t think she’d be this upset.”
Jess stared at her for a moment. “I need some air.” With that, he grabbed his jacket and all but flew out of the house.
***
He couldn’t breathe. It was like there was a fist closing in around his lungs. Jess gasped as he hurried down the sidewalk, shooting deathly glances at anyone who was in his way.
His. Dammit, why did Lily have to say that? It wasn’t, and that was that.
They weren’t even like that.
Well, maybe they were going to be. Just not yet. Not now.
Maybe not ever.
Jess stumbled onto the beach, breathing heavily. What the hell was wrong with him? He’d been fine up until they got home. He’d dealt with three hours of Lindsay staring blankly in front of her.
Why was he so upset now?
***
“Sasha told me to bring you some chicken soup.”
Jimmy set the bowl down on the nightstand and perched on the edge of the bed, next to Lindsay. “If you don’t eat some she might make the chowder.”
A slight nod. “Okay.”
“Are you feeling okay?”
Lindsay blinked at him.
“Okay, dumb question,” Jimmy muttered.
“It’s okay.” Lindsay sipped on a spoonful of broth. “That’s what Jess always asks me.”
Jimmy nodded. “He got the poor social skills from me, I’m afraid. Liz always knew the right things to say. She still does.”
“I don’t think there is a right thing to say about this.”
The two fell into a comfortable silence. There were no noises except for the soft sounds of Lindsay eating chicken noodle soup and Jimmy’s breathing.
“I just need to say this.”
Lindsay looked up at Jimmy questioningly.
With a sigh, he went on. “We’ll support you no matter what you decide to do, but I want you to remember that you don’t have to…you don’t have to have the baby.”
“What?”
“There are…other options.”
She dropped her spoon. It clattered into the bowl. “You mean… an abortion?” she whispered.
He nodded.
“No!” Lindsay shrieked, backing away from him. She clutched her arms protectively around her stomach. “I’m not killing my baby!”
“I didn’t ask you to,” Jimmy tried to explain. “I just want you to know that it’s an option.”
“No, it’s not,” she said firmly.
“Okay.”
Lindsay pushed the bowl of soup towards him. “I’m not hungry anymore.”
***
Sasha came to collect the bowl of half-eaten soup. “Jimmy is busy removing the foot from his mouth,” she explained.
Lindsay forced a slight smile, but she didn’t look up. Her arms were still wrapped around her middle.
“If you need to talk,” Sasha began, “know I’m always available. Any time, day or night.”
Lindsay nodded.
Sasha was almost to the door when Lindsay cleared her throat. She paused.
“What am I going to do?” Lindsay whispered.
“What you have to.” Sasha abandoned the dishes and sat beside her. “I know you haven’t talked to your parents since you left, and they don’t know what’s going on in your life right now, so I’m taking over as a surrogate mom. You’re not alone, and you’ve got a family here that will support you. No matter what.”
Lindsay’s eyes filled with tears as she listened to Sasha’s words.
Sasha embraced her tightly. “You and this baby are welcome in our home for as long as you decide to stay. As far as I’m concerned, you’re a member of this family.”
“Thank you.” Lindsay let out a soft sob and held onto Sasha as if her life depended on it. “Thank you so much.”
***
Lindsay’s mind was made up by the time Jess came back. It was just past midnight, and Lindsay had spent the past four hours thinking of nothing else. She knew she had to make a decision, that putting it off would only make things more difficult.
So she decided.
It wasn’t easy, but in the end, she was satisfied with what she was going to do. None of the other options had seemed right, and this one did. This one didn’t leave a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.
“Lindsay?”
She turned her head when she heard his voice and gave a half-smile. “Hey, Jess.”
“You’re still awake?”
She nodded. “I had a lot to think about.” A pause. “Where have you been?”
“Out.” Jess took a step closer. “I had stuff to think about too.”
She watched him as he paced slowly. “I made a decision,” she offered.
“Yeah, me too.” Jess stopped in front of her. She reached for his hand, but he evaded her grasp.
“Jess?”
He focused on a indiscriminate corner of the room. “I’d better go first.”
Lindsay’s heart began to beat faster. “What?”
“We can’t do this.”
“Do what?” She was confused.
“Be….together.”
“W-what?” Lindsay blinked back the tears that were instinctively rising.
Jess began to pace again. “It’s just…a bad time…and you…and me…” He took a deep breath. “Can’t we just go back?”
“Go back?”
“To being friends? Please?” he pleaded.
“I don’t understand…”
“It can’t be like that with us anymore. Not now.”
She frowned. “Is this…because I’m pregnant?”
He nodded.
“Oh.”
“There’s too much… you’ve gotta understand…”
“I think I do.”
“G-good.” Jess swallowed. “So we’re friends?”
“Yeah, friends,” she said vacantly. “Friends, sure.”
Jess nodded and was almost out the door when her voice stopped him.
“You never asked what I decided.”
He glanced over his shoulder. “No, I didn’t.”
And he was gone.